


Reluctant Hero

by Courbeferre



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: But I needed to procrastinate on my music history homework, F/M, Family, Friendship/Love, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I'm Bad At Summaries, Multi, My first work actually, POV First Person, This was going to be reader-insert but I hate writing in second person sorry :(, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-24
Updated: 2014-09-27
Packaged: 2018-02-18 14:28:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2351687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Courbeferre/pseuds/Courbeferre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Verena Siss enlisted with the Cadet Corps to escape from her boring home-life in Trost.  She thought she knew what she was getting into, but little did she know she'd soon be in way over her head.  For many unexpected evils would rear their ugly heads in time.<br/>This is my first published work on any website ever, so hopefully it doesn't suck too much :P Rates and reviews are sincerely appreciated!!! Rated M just in case... I'm not 100% sure how I want this story to completely unfold yet.  Also, I decided to change canon age for enlistment from 12 to 15 (so they'll be 18 when they graduate) because reasons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A New Day, a New Life

**Author's Note:**

> Hey hey hey! You at least read past the crappy description, so that's pretty exciting for me in itself. :) I'm on a complete downward spiral into obsession with Jean Kirstein and Marco Bott, so I originally intended to try and make this particular work a reader-insert. Unfortunately though, whenever I try to write in second person, it comes out a little weird, so I created a new character.  
> Her name is Verena Siss, who is the younger sister of Luke Siss, Squad Leader Ness's aid. For the purpose of being lazy, and the fact that I wanted Verena to have another brother, I made Pixis's escort, Gustav, another brother of hers, since he has no canon last name. Anyways, this is my first ever published fic on anything ever, so I hope you enjoy! :D

 

Chapter One: A New Day, a New Life

My eyes began to open slowly, then suddenly shot open. This was it. Today was the day I left for training. I quickly got up and hurried over to my closet. I had hung up my new uniform on the door. It sat there, clean pressed and ready to wear. I had tried it on a few times already. It only made me more excited to begin my training. I threw it on, admiring the stitched cadet insignia over my heart. I couldn’t help but grin.

I swung my bedroom door open and ran downstairs. Dad was sitting at the kitchen table, sipping at his tea and reading the newspaper, while Mom was stirring something that smelled delicious in a big pot. I sat down next to Dad and pushed down the newspaper so I could see his face.

“Morning, Dad!” I said excitedly.

Dad set down the newspaper and peered at me over his glasses.

“Morning,” he said, smiling at me and ruffling my hair.

“Today’s the day, Dad!” I exclaimed.

“You’re awfully excited,” he remarked, chuckling slightly. However, I noticed a tinge of sadness behind his quiet laughter. I sensed that he was nervous about me, but I knew that he knew I could take care of myself.

“Of course I am!” I said. “I finally get to leave this place and make a name for myself.”

A loud clang came from Mom’s direction. Both Dad and I jumped up at the noise. Mom had dropped the pot on the floor and some of its contents spilled over the sides. It looked like we were having potatoes this morning.

“I’m sorry,” she muttered to herself as she grabbed a rag to clean up with.

“Here, let me help,” I said, moving towards the counter. I took the rag from her hands and started to wipe up the mess on the floor. Luckily it wasn’t too bad and only a minimal amount of food was being wasted. I scooped up the potatoes on the floor and dropped them into the slop bucket that we left out for the stray dogs. I heard Mom sniffle next to me as I did so.

“Mom, it’s not a problem,” I said, picking up the pot and setting it back on the counter. “You didn’t really even make a mess. It’s nothing to get upset about.”

“It’s not that,” she whimpered.

I sighed and wiped my hands off on the rag. Mom was always making a big deal of everything since I enlisted. Ever since I told her, she started acting ridiculously overbearing. She was always crying and she hardly let me leave the house. I was getting so tired of her acting like she owned me. Part of me could understand why she was so upset, but it still grated on my nerves. Anyway, I was just starting training. Yeah, some people died during training, but only the stupid people. It wasn’t like I was getting shipped off into Wall Maria or anything. Besides, my brothers Luke and Gustav were already soldiers, and she never cried over them when they left- at least not to their faces. What made me so different?

Mom looked at me pitifully, her eyes welling up. “I wish you didn’t have to go. I’m going to miss my little baby.”

“Mom, it’s fine,” I said, trying not to groan. “Would you stop worrying about me? I’m not a little kid anymore.”

“But you’re my only daughter!” she said, raising her voice. “How can you expect me not to worry?!”

“I’m an adult!” I exclaimed, feeling infuriated. “I can make my own decisions! You didn’t act like this when Luke and Gustav left! How come you’re acting like the world is ending because I’m going to be gone for a little while?!”

Mom buried her face in her hands and started to sob. I felt kind of bad, but I was so mad that I didn’t even care that much. Dad stood up and put his hand on my shoulder.

“That’s enough Verena,” he said, reaching out towards Mom. “But she is right, Lotte. We can’t hold onto her forever.”

Mom looked up at me sadly and cried even harder. I couldn’t deal with her now. I already needed space.

“I need to make sure I have everything packed,” I grumbled.

I turned away and walked upstairs towards my bedroom. I tiptoed past Rudi’s room quietly, trying not to wake him up. I reached my room and stepped inside. I had already packed, unpacked, and repacked a million times in anticipation of today. I was so ready to leave.

I opened the top flap of my bag and went through everything inside. I had my clothes packed at the bottom. I was worried that maybe I over-packed, but that probably wasn’t the case. I set my stationary on top, careful not to crumple it up too much. I was sure that they’d have some at the training camp, but I wanted to be sure that I had something to write my family with. My toiletries were packed in the outer pocket of my bag. Great. I had everything. Well, almost everything.

Sitting on my pillow was Bamber, the worn out stuffed bear my brothers gave me for my fourth birthday. I slept with him every night since then, but I wasn’t sure whether or not I should bring him. I guess it couldn’t hurt, as long as nobody saw him. I grabbed Bamber and put him in my bag, buttoning it shut.

I made my bed before I got ready to leave. I was such a slob at home so I at least owed my parents that much.

                “Look at that, she’s making her bed!” came Dad’s voice from the hall. I turned around and glared. Dad was leaning in the doorway against the frame, smirking. “A visitor came by while you were up here. You should come downstairs as soon as you’re ready.”

                Huh. Weird. Dad turned and headed towards the stairs. I slung my bag over my shoulder and followed him. I walked down the stairs slowly and I heard voices coming from the kitchen. I heard my mother, still sounding like she was in tears, but she sounded much less upset than before. The other voice was familiar, but I wasn’t completely sure who it was.

                “Are you sure you don’t want any food? I can’t imagine how much they’ve underfed you!” Mom exclaimed. “Look how skinny you’ve gotten!”

                “I’m fine,” the other voice said with a laugh. “I already ate this morning.”

                I walked into the kitchen and set my bag down on the floor. A man was sitting at our table, leaning back in his chair. He had brown hair and wore the uniform of the Garrison Regiment. His legs were crossed and his feet were propped up on the table. He must have heard me coming, because he turned to face me. I stared into the face of my older brother. I dropped my bag on the floor in shock.

                “Hey,” he said, a grin spreading across his face. He stood up and held his arms out.

“Gustav!” I shouted happily. I flung my arms around my older brother’s neck and squeezed him tightly.

“Good to see you, Siss,” he teased, hugging me back just as closely. I groaned melodramatically. He’d been making that joke as long as I could remember.

“Like I’ve never heard that one before,” I said. “What are you doing here?!”

“It’s my job to escort you and the other recruits to your wagon,” he said, setting me down. “Such a noble first assignment as a soldier of the Garrison Regiment, am I right?”

“Sure,” Dad joked. “We weren’t expecting you home this soon, Gustav.”

“I know,” he replied. “I don’t get my first leave of absence for a while yet, so I jumped at the opportunity to come here. I thought I’d surprise you all. Besides, I want to see my little sister off before she’s gone for three years.”

Gustav put his arm around my shoulders and squeezed me to his side. I beamed at my brother and he smiled right back. Mom, on the other hand, still looked distraught.

“Rudi’s still asleep. The two of you should wake him up and say goodbye before you leave. It’s going to be a long time before you see him again,” she said, her voice still thick with tears.

“Of course, Mom,” Gustav and I said together. We both hurried upstairs and stopped just outside of Rudi’s room.

“You should wake him up,” I whispered. “He misses you a lot.”

Gustav nodded and opened the door slowly. Much to his disappointment, it creaked loudly.

“Damn,” he muttered, seeing Rudi stir slightly in his bed.

He tiptoed inside and I went in right behind him. I opened the curtains over the window, letting the light in. Gustav pulled a chair up next to Rudi’s bedside and sat down. He shook Rudi’s shoulder slightly.

“Rudi? Wake up,” he said quietly.

Rudi blinked his eyes open, grumbling slightly. However, as soon as he laid eyes on Gustav, he bolted upright.

“Gustav! You’re home! I missed you so much!” he cried, jumping out of bed and tackling Gustav (and the chair) to the floor.

“Hey buddy,” Gustav said affectionately, ruffling Rudi’s hair. “I can’t breathe.”

Rudi apologized and got off Gustav, who quickly got to his feet.

“Look how tall you’re getting!” he said. “You’re catching up to Verena! Soon she’ll be the family munchkin.”

“Yeah, right,” Rudi joked. “Let’s go get breakfast!”

He sprung out into the hallway and quickly made for the kitchen. Gustav and I walked out after him.

“Can you believe how energetic he is this early in the morning?” he asked. “I always thought he was a grouchy riser.”

“He is,” I said with a laugh. “I think he’s excited to see one of his big brothers.”

“Is he this excited whenever Luke stops by?” he asked.

“We’ve seen him a lot more over the past year,” I answered. “He always stops by before the Scouts leave on their expeditions, since they always pass through here on their way out. He’s actually spent the night with us every time he’s gotten back.”

Suddenly a dark expression crossed his face.

“That must be hard for Mom,” Gustav said.

“It was at first, but it’s not so bad anymore. Luke’s tough,” I said. “I think she’s more upset today than she has been when Luke left for the last couple expeditions he’s been on.”

“Wow,” he said.

“I know. She still worries herself sick though. Same with all of us,” I told him. “She thinks I’m going to join the Scouts, so I guess her behavior is understandable, but it still irritates me. I’m just glad you joined the Garrison instead. That’s probably what I’ll end up doing if I don’t make the top ten.”

“I wanted to join the Military Police,” he admitted. “But I wasn’t good enough.”

“That’s alright. You’re were still 16th, though. That’s still something to be proud of. Besides, the MP’s are corrupt as hell,” I said. “I can’t imagine you being part of that joke of an organization.”

“Same goes for you,” he said, elbowing me lightly.

We made it down to the kitchen. Rudi was scarfing down potatoes enthusiastically. Mom sat at the table with her head in her hands and Dad stood behind her, rubbing her shoulders. Gustav walked over and put his hand on Mom’s shoulder.

“Hey,” he said. He bent over and whispered something in her ear. She sat up slowly and wiped her eyes. He gave Dad a look and glanced over at the clock on the wall. Dad nodded and helped Mom stand. Gustav picked up my bag and handed it to me.

“We need to get going,” he said. “We’ve got six other recruits to pick up.”

Rudi dropped his fork on his plate, making a sound reminiscent of the clanging Mom caused earlier. His jaw dropped.

“Already?” he whimpered.

He got up and ran over to me, throwing his arms around my waist. He sobbed quietly into my shirt. I returned his embrace and stroked his hair. I gently pried him off me and crouched down to his level.

“Hey,” I said. “I’ll be fine. Nothing bad is gonna happen to me.”

“Do you promise?” he asked.

“Of course,” I said, kissing his forehead. “I’ll write to you as much as I can, okay, buddy?”

“Okay… but you’d better write or else I’m gonna be mad,” Rudi said, sounding upset.

Gustav walked over to Mom and Dad and gave them each a quick hug.

“I’m sure you’ll be seeing plenty of me,” he said, trying to lighten the mood.

“Come on, Rudi,” I said, taking his hand and leading him over to everyone else.

Mom looked at me disconsolately and wrapped her arms around me.

“Remember to write,” she said sadly. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too,” I said, kissing her cheek. “But hey, I won’t be gone that long.”

She took a deep breath and squeezed me closely. Eventually, she let go of me. Immediately after, Dad hugged me even tighter than Mom did. I was always closer to Dad growing up, and I knew I would miss him like crazy.

“I love you Daddy,” I whispered.

“I love you too,” he responded just as quietly. Gustav cleared his throat quietly.

“We’re running a bit behind schedule,” he said guiltily. “My fault, I guess. But we still have to get everyone else too.”

Rudi gave me another quick hug before I followed Gustav out the door.

“I love you all!” I called inside as I went.

“Love you too!” they all replied, waving.

Gustav shut the door behind me and smiled at me sadly.

“How do you feel?” he asked.

“Kind of numb,” I said honestly. “The whole thing’s kind of bittersweet. I guess it hasn’t hit me yet that I won’t see any of them for three years. Or you for that matter.”

“You’ll be fine,” he assured me. “You’ll have a new family of sorts when you get there. The past three years have been some of the best of my life. A word of warning though, the commandant’s a complete ass.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said. Gustav helped me into the horse-drawn cart waiting outside our house. “How many of us are there?”

“Seven,” he said. “Not a ton from a city this size, but I suspect you probably know all of them already.”

“Oh, joy,” I muttered sarcastically.

“The next guy’s right next door,” Gustav said. “Jean Kirstein. You guys are still friends, right?”

He walked over to the next house over before I could respond. The answer was a definite _hell no._ Gustav knocked on the front door and the one person that I could not stand in the least came sauntering out. He made his way over to the back of the cart without so much as a glance back at his childhood home.

“Morning, Cheeks,” he said, making me cringe. I hated that nickname.

“Jean,” I acknowledged bitterly.

I’d been acquainted with Jean Kirstein far longer than I cared to think about. However, Gustav wasn’t necessarily in the wrong when he assumed that we were still friends. In fact, we were best friends for a long time until he started treating me like crap.

It all started one day at school when we were twelve. I accidentally dropped a piece of trash on the ground, so I went to go pick it up. My family was low on money for new clothing, so I had to borrow some of Gustav’s pants that he left behind when he went to train. Anyway, they were much too big for me. As I bent over to pick up the trash, my pants fell down, showing off my underwear-clad butt for the entire class to see. Within hours, everyone at school heard what had happened. Afterwards, nearly everyone at school, including kids I had never even met, called me Cheeks, a nickname I suspected was Jean’s invention.

The only kid in my class that didn’t tease me after the incident was a quiet guy named Werner. Werner and I became close friends, which was when Jean suddenly decided to stop talking to me and start acting like an insufferable dickhead. The next year, following the fall of Wall Maria, Werner’s family packed up their things and left Trost to move to a farming village safe in the confines in Wall Rose, leaving me without any friends, save for a couple of acquaintances from other classes that sat with me at lunch.

I hadn’t been able to carry a decent conversation with Jean since we stopped being friends. But Gustav didn’t know that. I made sure that I never even mentioned it in a single one of my letters to him.

Jean took sat down next to me, dropping his stuff at his feet and splaying his legs out. I wasn’t sure whether he was aware of it or not (although he probably was), but he was squishing me into the front of the wagon.

Gustav hopped up in the driver’s seat of the cart, and whipped the reins with a loud “hyah!” The horses started to move, causing the whole cart to lurch backwards before we started to roll along.

“So how’s everything going, Jean?” Gustav asked curiously. “Is your family doing well?”

“Well enough, I guess,” Jean replied, sounding bored. “It’s not like anything exciting happens around here.”

“True,” Gustav said with a hearty laugh. “Imagine getting assigned to serve here after living here your whole life. I hope that doesn’t happen to either of you.”

“It won’t,” Jean said assertively. “At least not to me. I only enlisted to join the Military Police. I’m going to spend the rest of my days fat and happy up in the interior.”

I rolled my eyes. Jean had been bragging about this aspiration of his for months. After the first few hundred times of hearing about it, everyone was sick of hearing about it. Jean was just too thick to notice. Gustav’s gaze flickered down towards me and I gave him a dirty look. He made sure Jean wasn’t paying attention, then frowned at me for a moment before looking forward again.

“That’s an impressive goal,” Gustav said as he turned right on to the next street. “But just so you know, the competition’s tough.”

“I anticipated just as much,” Jean said matter-of-factly. “But it’s nothing _I_ can’t handle.”

I scoffed as we came to a stop. The next stop was in front of Wagner’s General Store. We must have been picking up Thomas. Huh. I never would have pegged him as someone who’d join the military. He was nice, but a total softie. Thomas came out the door, followed by a girl named Gretel Weinmann. The two of them were the ones that would sometimes sit with me at lunch. They got on the cart and sat down across from me. A couple guys came from houses across the street and joined us. Their names were Fritz Spielmann and Jakob Martin. I went to school with them, but I didn’t know them particularly well.

“Hello!” Gustav greeted jovially. “We’ve got one more stop after this, and then it’s off to Training!”

I noticed Jean’s breath suddenly catch in his throat. I glanced over at him and saw his face was sheet white. I didn’t know who the last recruit was, but clearly Jean did. And it was someone he hated.

“Wow, Jean,” I whispered. “You were talking so big a second ago. Is little Horseface okay?”

“Shut up,” he snapped.

The cart shambled up to the end of the road. We stopped in front of a small house with a large garden. I had no idea who lived there. We waited for a minute but nobody came out yet.

“Hmm, not as eager as the rest of you I guess,” Gustav said.

“I’m not sure if eager is the right word,” Jakob muttered.

He stepped down from his spot and walked up to the door. He knocked on it once, when suddenly it was pushed open with such force that it was almost thrown off its hinges. Gustav stumbled backwards, but managed to keep his balance.

“JEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!” a familiar voice squealed. Oh God. It was Adala.

Adala Schumacher was the most obnoxious bitch I ever had the misfortune of meeting. However, the only person that hated her more than me was Jean. The only positive thing about her was that she fawned over Jean pretty much 24/7, much to his chagrin. She scrambled out the door and up on the cart. She stopped in front of me and put her hands on her hips impatiently. She was short, but her boobs were so huge that my nose was practically in her cleavage.

“And what exactly do you think you’re doing?” she asked, staring down her pug-nose at me.

I glanced over towards Jean, who looked incredibly annoyed already. An idea crossed my mind.

“Saving you a seat, of course!” I said, casting a smirk in Jean's direction.

I stood up hurriedly and Adala shoved me out of the way to take my spot. I squeezed in between Gretel and Thomas.

“Nice,” Thomas whispered, chuckling slightly.

Gustav made it back onto the cart after he got his bearings. We quickly left for the gate, which luckily was not far off. We were already running late, and I could tell from Gustav’s sudden change in mood that was not too happy about it. He grumbled impatiently the entire way there. We arrived after a few uncomfortable minutes.

“Alright,” Gustav said. “This is where I take my leave. Igor will be taking you the rest of the way there.”

Gustav gestured towards a decrepit old man who looked like he wouldn’t even be able to see well enough to drive a cart. Gustav stepped down from his seat and came over next to me.

“When did Jean turn into such a pompous ass?” he asked quietly so only I could hear.

“Pretty much right after you left,” I answered just as softly.

“Yikes,” he said a bit louder. “Well anyway, good luck and remember to write me.”

He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before he left. He waved as he walked away towards Trost’s new headquarters.

“Bye!” I called after him, waving back.

Soon he disappeared around the corner and I turned back to face the rest of the crew. Adala was attempting to snuggle up to Jean as he tried his best to ignore her. He gave me a death glare as Igor stepped up to take the reins. The gate lifted upwards slowly, and we went through as soon as we had enough clearance. This was it. I was now a member of the Cadet Corps. It was _finally_ time.


	2. En Route

The wagon ride was so rickety it was as if I could feel every pebble underneath the wheels. I couldn’t wait for this ride to be over. As soon as it was over I would begin my training. Of course, the poor condition of the wagon wasn’t the only reason I couldn’t wait for the trip to end. I looked around at all the other kids on the cart.

“Of course, I only enlisted to join the military police,” Jean said with his nose in the air. Ugh. This was the second time I heard this stupid spiel today and the millionth time overall. “You see, the top ten make it in, so it shouldn’t be THAT hard. You know, I couldn’t possibly want to join any other regiment. I won’t be titan fodder.”

He was clearly addressing all of us, but Adala was the only one even remotely paying attention.

“Oh Jean, you’re so brave! I should try for the military police too!” she said, leaning on Jean’s shoulder. “Imagine us, together forever! Wouldn’t that just be wonderful?”

“I can’t wait to live in the interior. Nothing will bother me once I’m in the military police and living behind Wall Sina,” he continued to brag, shaking Adala off his shoulder and ignoring her.

“The military police is a joke,” I said under my breath.

Suddenly Jean stopped.

“Excuse me?” he snapped.

“You heard me. The military police is an absolute joke. Besides, nobody here except Adala gives a shit about anything you’re saying,” I retorted. “We’ve all heard it a million times, so shut up.”

Jean looked around, hoping for a different reaction from someone besides Adala. Somehow, Fritz had fallen asleep, Jakob was rolling his eyes, and Gretel and Thomas were intentionally ignoring him.

“Whatever, Cheeks,” he said, eliciting a high-pitched giggle from Adala. I gave him a death glare.

“Just ignore him. That usually does the trick,” Gretel whispered.

I held my glare for a few seconds for good measure, then looked down at my hands. I laced my fingers together and started to twiddle my thumbs. The ride felt like it was going to take forever and Jean started to speak louder and louder. At one point Fritz stirred, threw up over the side of the cart, and proceeded to go right back to sleep. Thankfully that got Jean to shut up for a little while.

Eventually we arrived at the Training Center. We pulled through the front gate and came to a stop. I saw at least a couple hundred recruits already here. Obviously, we were the last ones to arrive. A Garrison officer who appeared to be in about his thirties came over to the back of the cart.

“Recruits!” he said authoritatively. “Welcome. I will now give you your dormitory assignments. Once I have given them to you, meet with your respective roommates and walk in a single file line to your room to deposit your belongings. Report to the main yard to begin your training at noon. You will stand in a block formation. Is that understood?”

“Yes sir!” we all chorused.

He stepped clear of us to let us off the wagon. Thomas was the first one off and offered Gretel and I a hand down. Adala was the last one off the wagon. She held her hand out for Jean to help her down, but much to her disappointment, he didn’t notice. Either that or he ignored her. I fought back a snort as Adala clumsily got down herself.

“Wagner, Kirstein!” the officer began. “Report to Boys Dorm A. Martin and Spielmann! Report to Boys Dorm C. Schumacher and Weinmann! Report to Girls Dorm G. Keller, report to Girls Dorm H.”

“Looks like Cheeks is all on her own!” said Adala mockingly as the officer walked away. She looked over to Jean for a reaction but didn’t get one.

“As long as I don’t have to be near you, I’ll be happy with wherever they put me,” I said, grabbing my backpack off the cart. “See you Gretel, Thomas.”

I walked away towards the area with the sign bearing an H. There were already seven girls standing there. They were definitely waiting up on me. The thought was rather embarrassing, especially considering that Trost was the closest town to the Training Center, and somehow we still managed to be the last ones here. A stern-looking female officer stood at the front of the group.

“Are you Siss?” she asked tersely.

“Yes ma’am,” I said quietly.

“I am not your grandmother. Do not call me ma’am. You will address me as Officer Elke,” she snapped. “You’re the last one here, Siss. You’d better learn to be more punctual in the future if you want to be successful in the Cadet Corps.”

“But ma’am-”

“Did I ask for your opinion?” she interjected, shoving me backwards. “And that’s Officer Elke. I will not remind you again.”

The woman was quite a bit shorter than me, but she made me feel as if I shrank down to below her size.

“Fall in, Siss,” she said. “Alright Group H, follow me to your room. Walk in a single file line, and no talking!”

The rest of the girls in Group H followed Officer Elke across the main yard and over towards the girls dormitories. The boys dormitories were on the opposite side of the yard, close to the entrance gate and the mess hall. All the dormitory buildings appeared to be very small, but there were at least 20 of them for both the boys and the girls. We arrived at Girls Dormitory H after a few minutes. Officer Elke got up on the front step.

“Listen up ladies,” she said firmly. “This is your dorm. That long building on the far side of the yard is the mess hall. That’s where you’ll have your meals. No food is to leave the mess hall and you are not to enter the mess hall without permission. I’m sure you noticed the boys’ dormitories across the yard. You are also not to enter those dormitories without expressed permission from one of your officers. If you break any of these rules, you will be subject to severe disciplinary action. Any questions?”

She didn’t leave us any time to answer.

“Now move your bags into the dorms and make sure you report to your place in the main yard by noon. Not at noon. By noon. I expect all of you to be early. All of you- well all but Siss, will not begin your military careers with tardiness! Now hustle and unpack your things. I will see you tonight for room inspection.”

And with that, she left. All eight of us hurried inside the dorm. I took one look around the room and I could tell my living situation was not going to be pleasant.

There were two very wide bunk beds crammed against the walls with almost no storage space. A couple of the girls moved in to claim their spots. I walked to the last bunk that nobody had put their stuff on yet. I threw my pack on top of my bed and climbed up. I took a quick glance at the spot next to me. I guessed I was sharing the mattress with whoever climbed up next to me. I started to go through the few things I brought.

I pulled out the casual clothes that I brought, as well as my soap and toothbrush. Somehow, Bamber ended up buried in the bottom of my bag during the journey. I left him inside and repacked my stuff, making sure the paper and envelopes that were also in my bag didn’t get any more wrinkled than they already were. In the meantime, another girl claimed the spot on the mattress next to me. She had very pale skin and thick black hair pulled into two loose pigtails.

“My name’s Mina! Mina Carolina!” she said. “Who are you?”

“Verena Siss,” I replied quietly.

“It’s nice to meet you, Verena,” she said kindly. “I’m sorry Officer Elke was so harsh to you.”

“I’m guessing she’ll be far from the worst,” said a girl sitting on a bunk across the room. “You’re just gonna have to suck it up, princess.”

The girl had much tanner skin that most of the people I knew. She had a number of freckles and her dark brown hair was tied back in a ponytail. There was something strange about her, but I couldn’t place what it was.

“The name’s Ymir,” she said, crossing her legs.

I hopped off the bed, walked over in front of the small mirror on the wall and adjusted my jacket. I looked at myself for a moment, taking it all in. Everything began to sink in. Today, my new life started. I went back over to the bed, climbed up the ladder and pulled my bag off the mattress. As I stepped down onto the ground, I felt something hard underneath my foot and I stumbled backwards.

“Woah!” I said. I stopped falling when someone grabbed my arm like a vice.

A tiny girl sitting on her bed had grabbed me by the arm. Her eyes were narrowed like slits at me, but I could see her ice-blue irises well. She had an annoyed look in her eyes as she pulled me to my feet.

“Watch it,” she said coldly. “You stepped on my foot.”

“I’m sorry!” I exclaimed, blushing. “I’ll be more careful next time.”

She looked at me blankly and let go of my arm.

“Do you mind if I put my bag under your bed?” I asked. “There’s not really any other place to put it.”

“Whatever,” she said nonchalantly.

I thanked her quietly and slid my bag underneath her bed. After that, I turned around and headed for the door, passing all the other girls on the way. They all stayed silent. Among them, there was another blonde girl besides the one whose foot I had stepped on. She hardly looked like she was old enough to enlist. Besides Ymir and Mina, there was one girl with ginger hair and a fair share of freckles across her whole face. Another girl had long brown hair tied up into a ponytail. Her eyes darted around the room as if she was worried something would jump out at her. The last girl looked different than any other girl I’d ever seen. She had long thick black hair, and I couldn’t put my finger on it, but there was something striking about her sharp features that I had never seen before.

I considered sticking around for a few minutes and introducing myself, but I figured there’d be time for that later. I opened the door and stepped outside.

“Are you leaving, Verena?” Mina asked.                                                                                                              

“Yeah.”

“I’ll come with you!” she exclaimed excitedly. She quickly followed me out the door. We walked together towards the main yard.

“So where are you from?” she asked.

“Trost District,” I answered. “You?”

“A little village behind Wall Rose. Only a few people live there, so you probably don’t know where it is,” she said. “Not a lot of people do. It was a big deal when I left, because I’m one of the only kids in the whole village. How many people came from Trost?”

“Seven, including me,” I said. “Not a huge turnout, but I knew all of them before we left anyway.”

“Any of them friends of yours?” she asked.

“A couple. We’re not super close, but we get along well enough. We sometimes would eat lunch together at school,” I told her. “Their names are Thomas and Gretel.”

“Are they nice?”

“Yeah.”

We reached the main yard and I saw that there were a fair number of people including Thomas and Gretel already milling around, waiting for everyone else to arrive.

“I’m gonna go find a spot towards the front,” Mina said. “It was nice to talk to you, Verena! I think we’re going to be great friends.”

I smiled as she walked away. Mina was sweet, but I hoped that she figured out soon that joining the military was more than just wearing the uniform and making friends. I remembered both Gustav and Luke writing me from training and telling me how difficult it was.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I jumped slightly. I turned around to see Horseface standing right behind me.

“Jean,” I said curtly.

“Hey, Cheeks,” he said, smirking at me.

“What do you want?” I asked.

“I’d thought I’d take it upon myself to make sure you weren’t lonely in the block,” he said, winking at me.

“How generous of you,” I said sarcastically. “And don’t wink at me.”

“JEAN!!!” came a familiar high-pitched scream from the direction of the girls’ dormitories.

Jean groaned. I chuckled and stepped back as Adala came crashing into Jean. She buried her pug nose into Jean’s jacket.

“I missed you already! Are you excited to start?” she asked.

“Well, it’s one step closer to joining the military police,” he answered, sounding bored.

“Oh, Jean!!! I’m so proud of you!” she squealed.

“It’s almost noon, sweetheart,” he said, gritting his teeth on the last word. “You should go to your spot. I heard someone saying that they wanted us in alphabetical order, so you’re probably towards the back somewhere.”

Adala nodded enthusiastically and hurried towards the back of the ranks, not realizing that even if we were supposed to be in alphabetical order, I should be in the back too. God, she was so stupid. Jean brushed off his shoulders and sighed.

“If she bugs you so much, why do you talk to her?” I asked. “Are you that desperate for attention?”

“Shut up. Do you even think I want to talk to her?” he huffed. “I don’t even think she’s going to last anyway.”

“ATTENTION RECRUITS!!!”

Everyone quickly snapped to attention. A tall, balding man with dark circles under his eyes stood on the platform in front of everyone. I saw Officer Elke and a handful of other officers standing on the platform behind him.

“The 104th Cadet Class Entrance Ceremony will begin now!” he said.


	3. Rite of Passage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's where it starts to get a bit less boring :P I hope you like it!

Keith Shadis was something of a military legend. Everyone knew who he was. Shadis had served as the 12th commander of the Scout Regiment for years until Erwin Smith took over for him. And now here he was, standing on a platform in front of us. He started to yell again.

“You all have the misfortune of having me, Keith Shadis, as your commandant! I do NOT welcome you warmly! In your current state, you’d be titan fodder! You’re mere livestock! Less than mere livestock!”

Geez. Gustav wasn’t kidding about Shadis being an ass.

“Over the next three years, I will take you worthless nothings and teach you how to fight titans! In three years, will you be ready to be face-to-face with the titans? Will you serve as an honorable barrier that protects the king? Or will you be a glorious soldier for humanity that drives the titans out?”

I watched him step down from the platform down to the first kid standing on the end of the line. She was a girl with a very small frame with long brown hair that cascaded down her back.

“What’s your name, you miserable little maggot?!” he shouted in her face.

“Anna Abt, sir!” she said nervously. I could see she was shaking from all the way where I was standing.

“Why are you here?!”

“To join the military and fight titans…” she said hesitantly.

“Well no shit! Did you ever go to school, you stupid brat?”

“Yes-”

“Well I’m surprised you passed the first grade! You’ll be titan fodder if you don’t get your act together!”

Anna tried to interject, but was quickly cut off by Shadis again.

“But then again, you’re so tiny that they’ll swallow you in one bite! You’re not even fit to be a toothpick!”

He moved on to the next recruit, a chubby boy with short blond hair. I looked closer at Anna, who was reduced to tears. I suddenly felt much more nervous. I didn’t realize Shadis was so harsh. I wanted to comfort this Anna girl, but I knew if I so much as broke rank, then I would be in deep trouble.

Shadis worked his way down the rows, berating and belittling the new recruits. He made even more people including Mina cry. However, I noticed that he skipped a few people. I wondered why any of the recruits were getting special treatment. Frankly, it infuriated me. We were going to be soldiers someday, and the titans certainly weren’t going to be giving us special treatment. I decided to try to ignore Shadis until he got to me. Then there would be no way that I’d let him intimidate me. I swore to myself that I wouldn’t cry. There were things scarier than Shadis, and we would be facing them soon. Eventually I zoned out.

“Cheeks!” I thought I heard in the back of my mind. “Verena!”

I felt someone quickly shake my arm. I blinked and suddenly remembered where I was. I glanced over to my right and saw Jean looking at me.

“Pay attention. He’s almost here.”

I looked back over to my left and saw Shadis coming down the row. He made very quick work of the recruits next to me. Then I found myself face to face with the former commander of the Scout Regiment. I quickly did my best salute.

“What’s your name, girl?” he asked me in an eerily quiet voice.

“Verena Siss, from Trost District, sir!” I said as confidently as I could manage.

“Well, Verena Siss,” he said softly. “I SUGGEST THAT YOU PAY SOME DAMN ATTENTION! DON’T THINK THAT I DIDN’T NOTICE YOUR DAYDREAMING ASS ZONING OUT AS I WAS COMING AROUND! TAKE SOME DAMN RESPONSIBILITY AND PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS BEFORE A TITAN RIPS IT OUT FOR YOU! PEOPLE LIKE YOU ONLY HURT OUR CAUSE AND GET THEMSELVES AND OTHERS KILLED!”

I felt my eyes start to water. Damn it. His words were cutting so much deeper than I imagined they would. I tried to blink back my tears, but some of them managed to escape.

“But sir,” I squeaked out.

“SHUT THE HELL UP WHEN I AM SPEAKING TO YOU!” he shouted, grabbing me by my collar.

In one quick movement, Shadis threw me to the ground with significantly more force than I could have possibly anticipated. I landed on my tailbone with a hard thump. As I started to get up, Shadis stood over me, casting a long shadow.

“You know, I had your brother Gustav here three years ago. I never would have expected that I would meet someone who was as much of a sniveling pissbaby as he was. I’ve been proved wrong. Now get your sorry ass up,” he said.

I got on my hands and knees and pushed myself up. By the time I stood up, Shadis was standing in front of Jean. I was fuming. I was angry at everything, but mostly myself. He was right. I was a sniveling pissbaby. I swore to myself that I wouldn’t cry, but I did and everyone saw me. I was never going to allow myself to falter like that again. I would prove myself to Shadis, and to everyone here.

“Who the hell are you?” he shouted in Jean’s face.

“Jean Kirstein, from Trost District, sir!” Jean yelled right back.

“Why are you here?” Shadis yelled.

“To join the Military Police Regiment and live in the interior!” Jean said, smirking.

I glanced over at him, shocked that he would voice that outright to our commander. He made it clear to the Trost recruits that those were his intentions, but you were supposed to talk about fighting titans and saving humankind, et cetera, et cetera. But no, Jean couldn’t stop acting like a selfish prick for one conversation.

“Oh, you want to live in the interior, do you?” Shadis asked, suddenly quiet again. Many of the other cadets and I had figured out by then that Shadis speaking to you quietly was like the calm before the storm.

“Yes-” Jean was cut off by a swift head-butt by Shadis. He fell on his knees and cradled his head in his hands, whimpering like a little kid. I kind of felt bad for him, but the sight of him getting hit in the face still slightly lifted my spirits.

“Who said you could sit?! If you can’t handle this, you can forget about the military police!” Shadis bellowed, striding away. The next kid was a tall freckled boy who had a wide grin spread across his face.

“What the hell’s wrong with your face, you smiling idiot?!” he yelled.

“Marco Bott at your service sir, from Jinae on the south side of Wall Rose!” he replied enthusiastically. “I wish to join the military police and dedicate my life and limb in service of the king!”

Huh. I would have considered it a noble gesture (at least more noble than Jean) if he didn’t sound so naïve. This Marco guy looked at Shadis expectantly.

“Well then,” Shadis said quietly. “That makes you an idealistic fool and a rube.”

Marco’s eyes went wide and I swore I saw him shrink a few inches. He continued to smile, but albeit nervously.

“You want to know the truth? The only use the king has for your life and limbs are as titan fodder.”

Marco’s jaw dropped and he was stunned into silence. Shadis strode away towards his next victim and Marco glanced around at the others. He looked over at me briefly, a dumbfounded expression on his face. I blinked a few times and dismissed the thought. That was a stupid thing to think about right now. I shrugged at him and turned my attention back to Jean. I bent down, grabbed him under the armpit and pulled him up to his feet. He rubbed his head and cringed.

“You should go to the infirmary when we’re done,” I told him.

“Maybe. Don’t tell me what to do,” he said, wincing.

“You’re hurt,” I said. “I’m being sensible, dumbass.”

“At least I didn’t cry like a little kid who dropped their candy,” Jean snapped.

That hurt. I let go of Jean’s arm and glared at him.

We turned around to watch everyone else’s rite of passage. Well, at least Jean was watching. I thought back on what he said and wiped my eyes pitifully, feeling incredibly stupid. After a while, I checked back into reality and watched Shadis tormenting some of the other recruits. Eventually he reached Adala. At that point he was so far back that I couldn’t understand what he was saying, even though he was yelling. But I did see Adala start to bawl. I wondered what he said to make her cry, but it must have been bad. He quickly left her to cry and moved on to the boy next to her, who was saluting on the wrong side of his chest. Shadis picked him up by his head and yelled at him.

Eventually, we were done. It must have been late afternoon, because initiation seemed like it had taken hours. Shadis turned around to face all of us.

“Recruits! All of you are dismissed to your dormitories until dinner in two hours!” he yelled. “All except Potato Girl. You will be running until you are on the verge of death, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?”

The bell on top of the tower began to chime and the main yard quickly cleared out, all except for the girl from my dorm who had the shifty eyes and brown ponytail. Mina ran up to me, wiping her eyes.

“That was awful,” she said. I never want to be that near him ever again. He made you cry, didn’t he?”

“What makes you say that?” denying it even though I was sure everyone saw it.

“Well your eyes are a bit puffy and red,” she said. “He made me cry too, you must have seen it.”

“Yeah. He’s a dick, but I’m sure we’ll get used to it. There’s only so much you can say to someone to upset them,” I said optimistically.

“You’re right,” she agreed. “Did you see how he was skipping some people?”

“Yes,” I said, feeling anger bubble inside me. “It’s such crap.”

We walked over to our dormitory. All of the other girls were there except for Potato Girl. Shadis was making her run laps around the main yard. I climbed up on my bed and sat cross-legged. Most of the girls were minding their own business so I decided to do the same. I laid down and decided to take a nap.

I woke up a few hours later. The sun was already going down. I sat up and popped my back. A nap like that was a luxury I probably wasn’t going to have for a long time.

I rolled over and looked at Mina, who was sitting on her side of the mattress writing a letter.

“Did I miss anything?” I asked.

“Literally nothing,” she said. “Everyone’s been completely silent pretty much the whole time.”

“Geez. I wonder if it’s going to be like this all the time. I don’t even remember everyone’s names. I feel like we should go around in a circle or something.”

Mina grinned and scooted to the edge of the bed.

“I think we should introduce ourselves!” she said loudly. All the girls looked up. “I’m Mina Carolina!”

“I’m Verena Siss,” I said, waving at everyone.

“My name’s Christa Lenz!” said the baby-faced blonde girl sweetly.

“Ymir,” said Ymir from her spot next to Christa.

“Mikasa Ackerman,” the exotic-looking girl said quietly. There was little emotion in her voice.

“I’m Hannah Diamant!” said the ginger girl.

Lastly it was the blonde girl with the icy stare. I could tell she had been paying attention, but she was acting very bored with the whole thing.

“Annie Leonhardt,” she said, her voice as cold as her eyes.

“What was the Potato Girl’s name again? I didn’t catch it,” I said.

“Obviously, or Shadis wouldn’t have made you cry for not paying attention,” Ymir said.

I already decided that I was going to avoid interacting with her as much as possible. It was obvious that she didn’t like me and so far, I didn’t like her either.

“It’s Sasha,” said Mina coolly. “It’s alright, Verena. I’m gonna have a short walk until dinner. Do you want to come with?”

“Sure,” I said, following her outside.

The main yard itself was empty, but a handful of girls were milling around their dormitories.   I saw a handful of guys standing on their porch and talking to each other.

“Let’s go talk to those guys!” she said enthusiastically. She pointed across the main yard to the boys standing on the porch. I saw a large “A” painted on a sign by the doorway. Ugh. This was Jean’s dorm. Before I could even think about protesting, Mina was halfway across the yard.

“Are you coming?” she called. I groaned and ran to catch up with her.

We got to the front steps of the dorm and stopped. There were four guys standing on the porch.

“Hey guys! I’m Mina Carolina and this is Verena Siss!” she said happily. “We thought we’d come over and introduce ourselves.”

“Hi!” one of the boys said very quickly. “Come on up.”

Mina and I stepped on to the porch. I recognized the boy that said hi to us as Marco Bott, the boy who wanted to join the Military Police. I wasn’t really paying attention before, but I noticed that he was the only boy in this particular group that was taller than me. He had short black hair parted in the center and hazel eyes. His grin was wide and his face was splattered with freckles. He had a rather boyish look, but his height and build made up for it. He was actually really cute.

“I’m Marco Bott from Jinae!” he said happily, first shaking Mina’s hand, then mine. His grip was gentle, but still firm.

“I recognized you from earlier,” I said. “You’re the one that wants to join the Military Police.”

“Yeah,” he said, smiling even wider. “I can’t imagine a greater honor.”

For a moment I thought I heard someone scoff. I looked around, but turned back to Marco.

“Shadis was way too hard on you today,” I said, letting go of his hand. “He was out of line.”

“It’s not a big deal,” Marco said nonchalantly. “I’ll just have to prove him wrong. Anyway, are you alright? If anyone, you got some of the worst from him.”

“It’s alright. I was just caught off-guard,” I lied, feeling my cheeks heat up. I was still horribly embarrassed, but I didn’t really want pity. “Nothing like that will ever happen again.”

“I’m sure it won’t,” he said firmly, winking at me. “So you’re from Trost, right? What’s it like?”

“Yeah,” I replied. “It’s okay, but I don’t really have anything to compare it to. I’ve never actually been outside of Trost until I left this morning.”

“Wow. I almost don’t believe you,” he teased.

“It’s true,” I told him. “It’s partially why I enlisted. I also have two brothers in the military, so I guess that they kind of inspired me as well.”

Marco leaned forward on the porch railing, resting on his arms. He looked back over at me.

“What do they do?” he asked curiously.

“My oldest brother has been in the Scouts for a year. My other brother just graduated and joined the Garrison Regiment,” I explained.

“That’s impressive,” he said. “You could try for the Military Police. Then there’d be one of you in each regiment.”

I lingered on the idea for a moment, but Luke would never let me hear the end of it if I joined the Military Police. Besides, probably everyone here would be aiming for the MP’s. Still, I guessed there wasn’t any harm in trying for it.

“Maybe,” I finally said. “But the competition is tough.”

“You never know,” Marco said, smiling again. I swore, this guy never stopped grinning. “I think you have a pretty good shot.”

I smiled and took a seat on the railing next to Marco, swinging my legs over the front side. I saw that Mina moved to lean against the wall of the cabin. Now that Marco and I were done talking, everyone went around and introduced themselves.

There was a very small blond kid who looked startlingly like Christa. He introduced himself as Armin Arlert. The next guy told us his name was Eren Jaeger. He had mussed brown hair and a strange look in his green eyes. The last guy was the boy that Shadis picked up by his head for saluting the wrong way. He introduced himself as Connie Springer.

We sat in silence for a while and I leaned against the pole next to me. The sun was starting to go down. Dusk was quickly approaching. I wondered when we’d have dinner. In the distance, I saw Sasha jogging tiredly around the perimeter of the yard.

“Whoa. He’s still got Potato Girl running,” Connie remarked.

“Man, she’s been going at it for five solid hours. She’s really something,” Eren mumbled pensively.

“Still, being told to run until she’s on the verge of death didn’t seem to bother her as much as being told she has to skip meals,” Marco pointed out.

“Dauper’s a small hunting village in the mountains, isn’t it?” Connie asked. That must have been where she was from. I really wasn’t paying attention. I still didn’t know why everyone was calling her Potato Girl, but at this point, I thought it probably wasn’t a good idea to ask.

“Who are they?” Eren asked, pointing at a wagon that was going up the hill on the far side of the Training Center. I saw a handful of people sitting inside under the covers.

“They must be dropouts,” Mina explained. “They’ve asked to work in the fields instead.”

“Already?” I said, surprised.

“That’s just how it is,” said Eren suddenly. “If you can’t cut it here, you have to leave. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to go back and pick up rocks and pull plants again.”

Marco stood up and turned towards Eren.

“Come to think of it, we haven’t heard anything of where you’re from,” he said thoughtfully.

“Armin and I both come from Shiganshina,” he said, putting his hand on Armin’s shoulder.

Oh. That meant-

“You were there that day, weren’t you?!” Connie blurted. “Did you see the Colossal Titan???”

“Connie!” Marco exclaimed. I palmed my forehead. I didn’t understand how Connie could ask such a dumb question. Shadis picking him up by his head must have made him a little loopy.

“Yeah. I saw it,” said Eren hesitantly. A dark look washed over his face.

Suddenly the bell rang for dinner.

“Yes! I’m starving!” Sasha shouted from across the main yard.

“STAY WHERE YOU ARE POTATO GIRL!” Shadis yelled. I could hear her moan pitifully from the porch.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had nothing to do today, so I'm trying to churn out as many chapters as I can. I hope you like them! Reviews are sincerely appreciated :3

All six of us headed quickly towards the mess hall, where a line was already beginning to form.

Mina suddenly pulled me to the side as everyone else kept walking. Marco stopped and waited for a moment.

“Go ahead,” Mina said, waving. “We’ll catch up!”

“You sure?” he asked.

“YES!” she snapped in a very un-Mina like way. Marco looked slightly taken aback, but he went with the rest of the group.

“I’ll save a couple spots for you guys!”

“Thanks, Marco!” I called as he walked away. He waved at me congenially as he went.

Mina looked back and forth between Marco and me several times, but then settled her gaze on me. Suddenly she got really close up in my face as soon as Marco was out of earshot.

“You two are so CUTE!!!” she squealed.

“Wait, what? I- what? Cute?!” I stammered.

“Yes, cute!” she exclaimed. “He definitely has a thing for you.”

“Mina, we just met,” I said, feeling my cheeks heat up.

“So what?!” she said. “Anyway, you’re blushing!”

“Shut up,” I said timidly. “No I’m not.”

“Do you like him?” she asked suddenly.               

“I don’t know,” I murmured. “I mean, he’s really cute and sweet but-”

“My money’s on you two getting together before the first month is up,” she interjected.

“Mina, it’s hardly the time or place for that,” I said. “He’s just a nice guy.”

“You can’t convince me otherwise,” she said with a sing-song tone to her voice. She turned towards the mess hall line, which was growing longer. Marco and the rest of our group was almost there. “Anyway, we should go. Marco’s saving _you_ a seat.”

She took off towards the line and I ran after her.

“He’s saving you a seat too,” I muttered under my breath.

Mina clearly didn’t hear me (or was ignoring me) and jumped into the line with the others. I joined her quickly.

                “Hey guys,” Connie said.

                “What were you guys talking about?” Marco asked.

                “Oh nothing,” Mina said, adopting her usual sing-song voice and batting her eyelashes.

                “If you say so,” Marco said, laughing quietly.

                The line started to move forward quickly. The six of us crowded inside and waited for our food. As we got to the front of the line, I suddenly smelled an awful stench coming from behind the counter. From where I was standing, I could see what the recruits were getting served- a healthy portion of gruel with a side of probably stale bread. Yuck.

I grabbed a tray and a very obese woman gave me my serving. I thanked her politely and tried not to wrinkle my nose. We chose a table near the middle of the mess hall and I took a seat at the end of the table. Eren and Armin broke away from our group and took their seats at a table nearby. My seat faced away from the line. Mina sat down next to me and Marco and Connie sat across from us, leaving an empty seat between them. Marco set his jacket on the vacant seat.

“Saving another seat?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he said, smiling.

Thomas Wagner took a seat down at the other end of the table.

“Thomas!” I called.

He looked over and gave me a half-smile.

“Hey,” he said. “Are you alright? It seems like Shadis really came down on you today.”

I frowned. “He did. But I guess I deserved it.”

Thomas shrugged and started to nibble at his food. Mina did the same. For some reason, I didn’t have much of an appetite, so I left mine alone for a little bit.

“I meant what I said earlier. I don’t think you deserved what Shadis said to you,” Marco said sympathetically. “I wasn’t really paying that much attention until he started yelling at you and he didn’t yell at me for it. He was out of line.”

“Thanks Marco,” I mumbled unconvincingly. Although his words made me feel a bit better, I still felt pretty crappy about it. Marco put his hand on top of mine and squeezed it.

“Hey. I mean it,” he said, still grinning. Mina nudged me with her leg and I saw her wink at me out of the corner of my eye.

Marco suddenly let go of my hand. He looked up and waved energetically.

“Hey Jean! Over here!” he called.

My eyes went wide. He had to be kidding. No way in hell would someone like Marco hang out with someone like Jean. Marco moved his coat to his lap. Jean sauntered over and sat down in the saved seat. I looked down at my food and started to shovel it in my mouth. It tasted as awful as it looked and I immediately began to regret eating it so quickly.

“Hey Cheeks,” I heard Jean say. I looked up at glared at him. There was a bump where Shadis head-butted him. He winked at me and ruffled my hair.

“Don’t do that,” I said angrily, fixing my hair. “What do you want?”

“What? I can’t say hi to one of my friends?”

“Cut the crap Kirstein,” I said tersely. “Since when did we decide to be friends again?”

I took a bite of my bread and looked over where Eren and Armin were sitting. Mikasa had joined them by then. I saw Eren talking and a small group of people were starting to gather around.

“What’s going on over there?” I asked, pointing at them.

“I don’t know,” said Thomas. “But I’m gonna go see.”

“Me too,” said Mina. Connie quickly left too.

“I guess I’ll go get some more water while everyone’s gone,” Marco said. “Do either of you need any more?”

“No thanks, man,” Jean said with disinterest.

“I’ll take some,” I said, handing Marco my mug. “Thanks.”

Marco walked towards the barrels of water, leaving just me and Jean at the table.

“You sticking around, then?” Jean asked.

“I’m not done with my food yet,” I pointed out. “So where’s Adala? It’s weird seeing you without your one-person fan club.”

“She dropped out,” he answered curtly. For a moment relief washed over his face but he was obviously trying to pretend to feel some remorse. “I think that Shadis scared her away.”

That meant that Adala must have been on that wagon that we saw going up the hill. I kind of felt bad for her, but she wasn’t ever nice to me. The fact that she was already gone was really something of a testament of her character.

“Aren’t you disappointed?” I asked Jean.

“Hell no,” he said. “She wouldn’t have lasted anyway. It’s better for her really. And it gets her off both of our backs. I heard that Jacob and Fritz already left too.”

“You’re kidding!” I exclaimed.

“Nope.”

Wow. Adala, Jacob AND Fritz all already gone. Already the number of recruits from Trost had dwindled from seven to four. Now it was just Gretel, Thomas, Jean and me. I wondered if all of us would last until graduation.

I looked over at Eren’s table. The crowd around him had grown even bigger. I noticed that even Marco was glancing over as he filled the mugs.

“What was the Armored Titan like?” somebody asked.

“I don’t know. It looked like a normal titan to me,” Eren replied coolly.

“So what does a normal titan look like?”

Eren’s eyes widened. His jaw fell and he dropped his spoon into his bowl. His hands flew to his mouth and he gagged. Marco quickly shoved his way into the group.

“Hey guys, I think that’s enough questions,” he said concernedly. “I’m sure there are things he doesn’t want to remember.”

“No, it’s nothing. Titans aren’t actually that big of a deal,” Eren said suddenly and defiantly. His eyes moved around the whole group.

Marco furrowed his brow and returned to our table, setting my mug down in front of me. I took a sip and thanked him quietly, but he seemed more focused on what Eren had to say. He stayed standing and leaned against the pole next to our table.

“Once we’ve mastered our omni-directional mobility gear, they’ll be nothing to us!” he continued. “We’ll finally get to train as soldiers, and when we graduate, I’m joining the Scout Regiment and drive all the titans out of this world!”

Jean looked over and rested his head in his hand. At that point, both of us were listening intently. I was still considering joining the Scout Regiment, but I wasn’t going to be nearly as loud-mouthed about it as Eren. It was obvious a lot of people were buying into his story, but I just thought he was nuts. Nobody that was that cocky would last long in the Scout Regiment. I was curious to see what else he was going to say.

“Whoa, what are you, crazy?” Jean suddenly interrupted. “Did you just say you were going to join the Scout Regiment?”

Oh no. This wasn’t going to end well. Jean always had a holier-than-thou attitude when it came to the Scout regiment.

“Yeah, that’s right,” Eren said, looking over in our direction. “Aren’t you the one that wants to join the Military Police and live the easy life?”

“I’m all about being honest, you see,” Jean said smugly. “It’s much nicer than being, say, a loser who acts all tough when he’s actually scared shitless.”

“Jean,” I said firmly. He needed to shut up before he said anything even more stupid. If he actually took in to account where Eren came from, even he wouldn’t say something so tactless.

“Hey!” Eren said, getting straight to his feet. “Are you talking about me?” Jean got to his feet as well.

“Jean, stop it,” I warned. He turned back to face me.

“Why are you defending him, Cheeks?” he whispered. “Got a crush?”

“No!” I denied. “You’re being a dick.”

“We’ll see about that,” he said, approaching Eren. “Come on now.”

The bell sounded, signaling that we should start heading towards the barracks. Jean sighed.

“Look, I’m sorry,” he said to Eren. “I don’t mean to dismiss your ideas.”

“Let’s be friends,” he said, reaching a hand out towards Eren.

“I’m sorry too,” Eren said insincerely. With one quick motion, he slapped Jean’s hand and made for the door. Mikasa walked after him, brushing past Jean on the way. His eyes went wider than I ever seen them before and a slight blush rose up his cheeks.

“H-hey you!” he blurted out. Mikasa turned to face him, raising her eyebrow slightly. Jean stuttered pathetically, his face turning an even brighter shade of red. I fought back a laugh. I had never seen him act this way before.

“It’s just that- um, I’ve never seen anyone who looks like you before,” he stammered. “You have very pretty black hair.”

“Thanks,” Mikasa said plainly.

She turned on her heel and hurried after Eren. Jean quickly tailed her out the door. I finished my bread and followed him. I wanted to see how this would play out. When I got outside, Jean was leaning against the rail, watching Mikasa go. I watched them as well.

“Anyway, don’t you think your hair is too long?” I heard Eren ask as they walked away. “It could cause an accident with ODM training.”

“You’re right. I’ll cut it,” Mikasa said immediately. Jean’s shoulders sank and he turned around with a dark expression on his face. Connie came out the door soon after and Jean wiped his hand on his back.

“Dude!” Connie said, recoiling. “What the hell did you wipe on me?”

Jean looked at Connie seriously.

“My trust in others,” he muttered grimly.

I laughed out loud without even thinking about stopping myself. Jean turned quickly and got up in my face, blushing furiously.

“What the hell is so funny?” he questioned angrily.

“My trust in others?” I said, choking back another laugh. “You’re such a drama queen!”

“Shut up!” Jean exclaimed. “You’re just jealous because you’ve always wanted this kind of attention from me, haven’t you?”

“Not in your wildest dreams, Kirstein,” I said.

“Whatever. I wouldn’t be surprised if you chicken out tomorrow and go pull plants in the field,” he said angrily.

“No way in hell is that happening,” I said with just as much venom. “I am going to destroy you at training.”

“Yeah, right,” he said, rolling his eyes and putting his hand out. “You’re on.”

I sneered and shook his hand.

“See you tomorrow, Horseface.”

“Same to you, Cheeks.”

Jean stalked off towards his dormitory, absolutely seething. I turned around and went back inside the mess hall. Marco still sat at the table with Mina.

“Hey guys,” I said.

“Hey,” Marco replied.

Mina yawned noisily and stood up.

“I’m going to go to bed,” she announced loudly. “I’ll see you both later.”

“Good night!” Marco said, waving her goodbye. He turned back to me and addressed me more seriously. “I take it that you and Jean don’t get along too well.”

“No,” I said quickly. “We were best friends for a really long time, but a few years ago he started to bully me at school.”

“Why would he do that?” he asked, sounding surprised.

“It’s kind of embarrassing,” I said. “I’d rather not talk about it.”

Marco nodded and didn’t say anything further. I looked down and drank the last of my water. By then, everyone cleared out of the mess hall except for us.

“We should probably head back to the dormitories,” I said, picking up my plates.

“Yeah, you’re right,” he said.

We both stood up and took our plates to the bins where they were being collected. We silently walked out of the mess hall and down the steps into the yard.

“Say, do you mind if I walk you back to your barrack?” Marco asked.

“Are you sure?” I asked. “You’d have to walk all the way back to yours after that and you must be tired.”

“Not a problem,” he said insistently. “Shall we?”

We slowly walked in the direction of Barrack H. The sun had set during dinner, and there wasn’t a cloud in the star-filled sky.

“It’s beautiful out here,” I said to myself. “I’ve never seen so many stars.”

“I guess you don’t see many in Trost,” he said.

“Nope,” I replied. “Between the walls and all the buildings, you can hardly see any unless you stare straight up.”

“Huh,” Marco said. “Trost sounds really different from Jinae.”

“Must be,” I said. “Is Jinae a farming town?”

“It wasn’t when I was younger,” he said. “It was surrounded by forests. But when Wall Maria fell and we lost all that land for cultivation, they converted the forests into farmlands.”

“That’s horrible,” I said.

“It could be worse,” Marco admitted. “At least we still have our land. Besides, the farmers employ a lot of people that didn’t have jobs before.”

Marco was ever the optimist. It was somewhat surprising, considering the circumstances. It kind of puzzled me how he could be that way all the time, but his positive outlook was refreshing. Soon we arrived at the front of Dormitory H and stopped at the front steps. We stood there facing each other in silence for a few moments. I absentmindedly twisted a bit of hair around my finger and looked at the ground. I glanced up and saw that Marco was smiling down and me. I hurriedly stared back at the ground, trying to hide the fact that I was blushing. He cleared his throat quietly and I looked back up at him, my cheeks still flushed.

“Well, I should probably go,” he said, scratching the back of his head and grinning nervously. “Curfew’s coming up really soon.” A faint blush appeared under his freckles.

“Okay,” I said, kind of disappointed. I liked spending time with Marco, although I only just met him this afternoon. “It was wonderful to meet you.”

“Yeah,” he said dreamily. “You too.”

He held out his arms for me and I hugged him. He returned it gently. Although he wasn’t more than a few inches taller than me, I still felt completely engulfed by his embrace. After a few seconds, I began to pull away and Marco let go of me.

“Good night,” I said, walking up the front steps.

“Good night,” he replied, waving and turning back towards his barrack. “See you tomorrow.”

I hurried inside the room and shut the door behind me. Mina and the rest of the girls were back in the room. Pretty much everyone was already lying in bed except for Mikasa. She stood in front of the mirror and ran a few fingers through her hair. She saw me come in in the mirror and turned around. She looked at my short hair with curiosity.

“Did you cut your own hair?” she asked.

“Yeah, I cut it a couple days ago,” I told her. “Do you want me to cut yours? I heard you and Eren talking earlier.”

“Would you?” she asked.

“Sure thing,” I said. I grabbed the pocket knife I kept in the outer pocket of my backpack and got to work.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So one thing I keep forgetting to mention is that for the dialogue from the manga/anime, I'm using various translations, so that's why it's not completely consistent. Hopefully y'all are cool with that. Enjoy!

I walked to the main yard with Mikasa after breakfast the next morning. She ran her fingers through her now short hair.

                “Thanks again, Verena,” she said quietly.

                “No problem,” I replied.

                There had been several posts set up in a swing-set shape. They all had two wires hanging from the top. There was already a small crowd of people standing around them. I rolled my shoulders up and down, popping my back. The straps of my harness were already digging into my skin through my clothes. I hoped that eventually they’d become more comfortable, because right now they hurt like hell.

                “Morning, Cheeks,” Jean said from behind me. I turned around and was face to face with him. He wore his trademark smug smile. “Are you ready to get your ass kicked?”

                “In your dreams,” I said, returning his smirk. Jean glanced over at Mikasa and his face fell slightly at the sight of her new hair. I felt a little bit of smug satisfaction from being the one that cut it.

                “I’m going to go find Eren,” Mikasa said, turning away and walking towards the posts. Jean watched her go, looking disappointed.

                “I wouldn’t worry about her,” I said. “She’s way out of your league.”

                “Let’s go,” he muttered, grabbing my arm.

                I shook his arm off and we walked over to one of the further posts that was less crowded. I wasn’t keen on the possibility of making an idiot of myself in front of a ton of people a second time.

                “Cadets!” Shadis roared from in between the posts. All of us quickly snapped to attention.

                “Sir!”

                “Today is the day we test your aptitude! If you do not pass, you are not even fit enough to be bait! You will be sent off to the fields!” he continued. “So get your sorry asses in gear if you want to stay a cadet!”

I looked over at Jean and noticed his brow furrowed in concentration.

                “Relax, Kirstein,” I said tauntingly, elbowing him. “It’s not like your whole future as a cadet is dependent on today… oh wait, it is!”

                “Can it, Cheeks,” he growled, a bead of sweat rolling down his face.

                “Hey guys!” Marco exclaimed happily. He must have appeared sometime during the awkward silence between Jean and me. He wore his usual sunshine-and-rainbows grin and put his hand on Jean’s shoulder.

                “How are you feeling?” he asked.

                “Fine,” Jean grumbled, his eyebrows still knotted together. He made an effort to not look at either of us. Marco clapped him on the back.

                “You’ll be fine, Jean,” he said. “Look, nobody’s failed yet.”

                Marco was right. Cadet after cadet went through the test and all of them managed to stay upright. I felt a bit better almost immediately. On the far left, Eren Jaeger got up to take his turn. A fire lit up in Jean’s eyes, and he ran to the front of the group.

                “I’m next,” he declared, shoving Mina Carolina out of the way. The officer in charge of our station, a small man with thinning hair, hooked him up to the equipment.

                “Jean’s so determined to outdo Jaeger,” I said to Marco. “He really mustn’t like him.”

                “I don’t know why,” Marco said. “He’s nice enough if you talk to him, but I think that Jean ruined almost any chance of an actual friendship with him last night.”

                It was true. Eren may have been loud-mouthed, and something of an idiot, but he at least seemed nice. You couldn’t say the same for some other people here. Jean was too hard on him.

                “Yeah,” I agreed, looking down the row. Sasha and Connie were next to each other. Both appeared to be struggling slightly, but they managed to stay upright. Mikasa was next to them, the epitome of perfection. She stay completely still, but managed to be relaxed. She swayed with the breeze, almost looking bored. To say that I was impressed would have been a massive understatement. If she was as good at everything else as she was at this, that top spot would be hers, with absolutely no competition. However, Eren Jaeger was the absolute opposite.

                Eren hung upside down from the wires, his feet kicking absurdly in the air. He flailed around, trying to right himself. All of his efforts were completely fruitless. Shadis screamed something unintelligible in his face. I was almost too embarrassed to look.

                “That really sucks,” Marco said under his breath. “But I heard some of the other cadets talking about how they’re letting the people that don’t get it today try again tomorrow.” Both of us turned back to watch Jean, who was biting his lip nervously.

We watched as he was hoisted into the air. For a moment, he wobbled back and forth slightly. My fists clenched against my sides.

_Come on, come on._

He quickly repositioned his arms on either side of the wires holding him up and then sat back into his harnesses. His balance wasn’t quite perfect, but he was up. A genuine smile broke out on his face.

                I found myself letting go of a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. The officer let Jean down and unhooked him. He promptly receded back into his pompous asshole persona and swaggered over towards us.

                “You’re up, Cheeks. Have fun trying to stay up,” he said arrogantly. I groaned and made my way to the front. The officer soon let Mina down, who managed to stay up although she was shaking visibly. I rolled my shoulders and popped my back again, stepping up towards the equipment.

                “Name?” the officer asked. His voice was timid, a drastic change from Shadis’s usual scream.

                “Verena Siss,” I said as he hooked my harness to the wire. My voice suddenly sounded as timid as the officer’s did. He checked my name off on his clipboard and looked at me expectantly. I nodded and he started turning the wheel that would lift me up. The wires went taut first and then I was slowly lifted off the ground. My palms started to sweat and my breath was short.

                _I am not nervous. I am not nervous. I am nervous. Shit shit shit._

I felt myself starting to fall backwards, but I threw out my arms. I thought about Eren, the hyper-determined boy whose passion couldn’t get him past the first test. I would not be like him.

                _I will not make a fool of myself._

I sat back on my butt and placed more of my weight into the straps around my feet. If I found myself tipping forwards, I simply sat back more, and if I started tipping back, I redistributed my weight into my feet. Before I realized it, I was steady. I was doing it.

I looked up at Jean, who was biting his lip again. Was he… worried about me? He looked at me and we made eye contact. A smile spread across my face. The corners of his lips tugged upwards into a slight smile, but he quickly started scowling again.

After a minute, the officer pulled back on the lever and let me down. My feet touched the ground gently and I stood up.

“Little bit of a rocky start,” he commented quietly as he started to unhook me. “But everyone’s like that on the first try. You pulled out of it very well. Hardly anyone does. Great work, Siss. You passed.”

_I did it. I passed._

I walked back over towards Jean and Marco, grinning.

“Great job, Verena!” Marco said, an even bigger smile on his face than usual. “I’d better get going, then! I don ‘t want to be last.”

Marco went off to the station to take his test. Jean slung an arm around my shoulders and leaned in close. His breath tickled my neck.

“Good thing you steadied yourself, Cheeks,” he whispered in my ear. “Otherwise, you would have been shipped off to the fields like our Jaeger friend, and then our little arrangement would have been for naught!”

The corners of my mouth twitched up, but then I started to feel bad for Eren.

“Apparently they’re letting people retake the test tomorrow if they want,” I said. “He’s not done quite yet, so don’t get your hopes up.” I paused briefly. “You know, I think you should be nicer to him. He’s never done anything to you.”

“He made me look like an idiot last night!” Jean snarled.

“You did a pretty good job of doing that yourself, Horseface,” I countered. He groaned and took his arm off my shoulder. I punched it lightly. “Lighten up, man.”

“You lighten up,” he replied grimly.

“That was witty, Jean,” I said. “You should write that one down.”

I looked at Marco, who was just being lifted up. He smiled at both of us and settled back into a balanced position. He stayed still in the air for several seconds, and then the officer let him down again. As he helped Marco out of the hooks, he whispered a few words. Marco’s face lit up and he hurried over to us.

“I did it, you guys!” he exclaimed excitedly. “I passed! The three of us are going to do great things, I know it!”

There were several stragglers who were waiting to take their tests, so the rest of us were left to our own devices for the rest of the day. Shadis told us that it would seem rather pointless to try to accomplish anything significant without the entirety of the accepted cadets there.

The three of us walked away from the crowd. Marco squeezed us to his sides tightly. I smiled up at him and he beamed right back at me. Jean soon wormed his way out of Marco’s grip and started to walk away towards his barrack.

“I’m gonna go write my family or something,” he said, scurrying away.

Marco watched him go and turned towards me.

“Do you know what you’re going to do for the rest of the day?” he asked.

“No idea,” I said. “I should probably write my family at some point, but I don’t really feel like it yet.”

“Wanna go for a walk or something?” he asked.

“Sure,” I said, following him as he walked in the direction of the girls dorms.

We walked briskly past the fighting grounds, which were directly behind the girls’ dorms and quickly reached the edge of the forest. We stopped below the first trees. They were gargantuan compared to any other trees I that I had ever seen, but then again, I was from Trost, and the only trees in Trost were the ones people planted on the street corners or in between the houses. I’d seen the trees yesterday as we moved in, but it was completely different seeing them this close up. Both Marco and I looked up at the top of the trees.

“These trees are insane,” I said.

“Have you never seen trees like this before?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Marco, I’m from Trost, remember?” I muttered. “We don’t have anything like this.”

“Then we have to go in so you can get a better look!” he exclaimed.

He started for the trees with determination, but I grabbed his sleeve and held him back.

“I don’t think we’re supposed to go in there yet,” I said uneasily. “I’m not really keen to get in a ton of trouble on my first day.”

“Yeah, me neither, but we won’t get in trouble,” he said confidently, turning back to face me. “If they really don’t want us to go in there, they would have fenced it off or something.”

“Fine,” I huffed.

He beamed at me and headed between the trees. I followed him apprehensively, looking over my shoulder before I went all the way into the forest. There was nobody in sight, except a girl going into her dorm. It was pretty clear that she didn’t see us, so I quickly went into the trees.

**Author's Note:**

> So there it is! I hope you guys liked it. The first few chapters are mostly exposition, as is the case with a lot of other stories. The action WILL pick up in the next few chapters or so. I'll try to update as much as possible, but since I'm a music school student-type person, I am pretty busy so I'll at least try to get in an update once or twice every week. :) See you next update!


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